Originally featured on Latina Mic Drop Episode 41
¡Órale, chingonas! After 41 episodes and one full year of running my business, I’m here to drop some serious wisdom about crafting the life you actually want, not the one everyone else expects you to live.
As Latinas, we’ve been conditioned to put everyone else first, to play it safe, and to wait for permission before we make moves. But what if I told you that everything changes when you start listening to yourself and moving with intention?
Here are the five game-changing steps that transformed my life and can transform yours too:
Step 1: Learn to Listen to Yourself (The “I” in INK)
Stop waiting for someone else to give you permission to live your life. The most powerful question I ever asked myself was: “If I had all the time and money in the world, what would I do?”
Would you still be in the same job? Same relationship? Same city?
I used to be the ultimate people-pleaser, the “nice girl” the “nice mom” the “secret worker”who followed all the rules and never wanted to ruffle feathers. But here’s what I learned: when you constantly seek external validation, you lose touch with your own instincts.
I moved through eight different jobs in 10 years, not just doubling my income like I planned, but quadrupling it. I made the tough decision to stay away from my kids’ father over 20 years ago because I knew, deep down, it would never work no matter how hard I tried.
For all the mamas out there: I know you’re pouring everything into your kids, but remember, there will come a day when they move on and build their own lives. Don’t lose yourself in the process.
Step 2: Face Everything and Rise (The “N” in INK)
Let’s keep it real, hermanas. Some of us are out here trying to “positive mindset” our way around trauma. Stop running. Stop pretending. It’s time to go to therapy, have the hard conversations, and tell the truth about where you are versus where you want to go.
That’s navigation, getting honest before you can get free.
Writing my book “Tattoos and Pearls” meant confronting every single thing I’d been through. I needed therapy with someone who understood my exact background. (Pro tip: Ask the tough questions upfront about their stance on issues that matter to you.)
Whether it’s small-t or big-T trauma, we’ve all been hurt in some way. And unfortunately, the people in your life now might be paying the price for what someone else did to you if you haven’t dealt with it.
I used to live like a turtle, soft and vulnerable inside, but with this hard shell protecting me from the world. Therapy helped me take off that armor. Now I’m open, having real conversations, and living from a place of peace instead of fear.
Step 3: Stop Waiting for Permission (The “K” in INK – Killer Mindset)
Nobody’s coming to tap you on the shoulder and say, “Okay, mija, it’s your turn.” You decide. You decide what you want to do with your life.
I felt othered in my corporate career, but instead of letting that define me, I decided to coach, speak, and write my story on MY terms. That wasn’t permission, that was POWER. I found my WORTH. I learned to stand on my OWN TWO FEET!
Here’s the truth: if something happened to you at work tomorrow, they’d replace you. Maybe they’d feel bad for half a day, but then it’s back to business. So why are we allowing our jobs to dictate who we can be?
I stopped waiting for permission. Now I post on LinkedIn, run my podcast, and created The Chingona Times as a safe space for Latinas who are feeling othered or gaslit in their workplaces.
Remember: the workplace wasn’t originally created for women to thrive. We’re changing that narrative, one boundary at a time.
Step 4: Stop Asking Others What They Want
Especially when you’re the one doing the work, carrying the dream, and taking the risk. Ask yourself what you want and own it.
My wife and I used to drive each other crazy with this. “What do you want?” “No, what do YOU want?” We’d go in circles trying to please each other and end up frustrated, making no decision at all.
Now we’ve learned to say, “This is what I want,” and then we negotiate from there. It works for everything, vacation plans, weekend activities, even work decisions.
People are not mind readers. Stop expecting them to guess what you need. Most people actually want to help you get what you want, but they need to know what that is first.
Step 5: Start Saying No When It’s a No
Stop people-pleasing your way to resentment. Saying no is a boundary, not a betrayal.
I say no to protect my vision, my peace, and my voice because I fought too hard to get them back.
In my book, I talk about this: Stop giving me lemonade and telling me to make lemonade with the lemons you give me. Maybe I don’t like lemonade. Maybe I want strawberries, but because you’re allergic to strawberries, we can’t have strawberry lemonade.
Here’s the reality: some people might walk away when you start setting boundaries. And that’s okay. If they can’t respect your “no,” that tells you everything you need to know about the relationship.
You need to value yourself, not betray yourself to make others happy. When you’re not happy, you’re not making others truly happy either. Misery loves company, but we’re breaking that cycle.
Your Path Forward, Chingona
These five steps aren’t just theory, they’re the framework that took me from people-pleasing to powerful, from waiting for permission to creating my own opportunities.
Here’s your recap:
- Listen to yourself
- Face everything and rise
- Stop waiting for permission
- Stop asking others what they want
- Start saying no when you mean it
This is how you craft the life you want, not someday, but now.
To every chingona, jefa, and badass boss reading this: we’re not gatekeeping this growth. We’re multiplying it. Share this with your comadre, your cousin, your colleague. Let them know they don’t have to choose between success and authenticity, they can have both.
Ready to live Mi Vida Loca? Connect with me at MiriamSimon.online or follow @AuthorMiriamSimon, @LatinaMicDropPodcast, and @TattoosandPearls on Instagram.
Remember: You don’t have to do this alone. Live bold, lead proud, and drop the mic.
Miriam Simon is a proud Latina executive coach, author of “Tattoos and Pearls,” and CEO of Mi Sí Coaching and Consulting. She hosts the Latina Mic Drop podcast and founded The Chingona Times as a safe space for Latinas navigating workplace challenges.
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